Black and White Sunday.

This post is a bit different than my usual.  I usually don't involve alot of personal detail.  But this time I will.

See, I was an RN for lots of years and retired from nursing a few years ago to start my business and help run the farm.  I didn't think I would really use those skills again.

Wrong!

You may have noticed that I've missed several days of posting lately.  I hate to share issues because I don't want to sound whiny or be a downer.  However, as much as death is generally considered a downer, this experience was also one of the most rewarding, special experiences I've ever had.

I have just finished an experience that was hard and important and rewarding.  As I type this I have tears in my eyes; not so much of sadness but of shear gratitude.

My father in law, who has a ranch a few miles away, was diagnosed with cancer a few months back.  He has always been a hard worker, never letting anyone know he had pain or problems. 

He tried to fight this off, but the cancer won.  He decided to come home to his ranch and finish his days with hospice.  I started helping him with medications, meals and mobility.  He fought with all he had to keep his independence, even when we all knew he really wasn't safe.

A few days ago, he could no longer fight it and became bedridden.  I've spent the last several days as his primary caregiver, pretty much 24 hours a day.  It was hard.  And I am tired.  But I feel such a sense of peace and accomplishment because he got to stay home, I got to know him much more than I ever did before, and I was able to help him leave this world with peace and as much grace as possible.  

His passing was a relief.  No more pain.  No more struggle.  Great memories of his past life history as we all sat with him.  I would do it again, even though it was so difficult.  This is what makes life worthwhile. Not all the things.  Not any money.  Just REALLY getting to be an important part of someone's life and being able to make it better.

I know my picture isn't dog related.  But it expresses the hope I feel with each sunrise.  Hope of a new day and renewal.

I hope to get back on track soon, but may be a couple more days resting and refreshing.

Hope you are all having a great Sunday.

We're joining the Black and White blog hop hosted by Dachshund Nola and Sugar the Golden Retreiver.