Sunday, November 15, 2015

Black and White Sunday.

This post is a bit different than my usual.  I usually don't involve alot of personal detail.  But this time I will.

See, I was an RN for lots of years and retired from nursing a few years ago to start my business and help run the farm.  I didn't think I would really use those skills again.


You may have noticed that I've missed several days of posting lately.  I hate to share issues because I don't want to sound whiny or be a downer.  However, as much as death is generally considered a downer, this experience was also one of the most rewarding, special experiences I've ever had.

I have just finished an experience that was hard and important and rewarding.  As I type this I have tears in my eyes; not so much of sadness but of shear gratitude.

My father in law, who has a ranch a few miles away, was diagnosed with cancer a few months back.  He has always been a hard worker, never letting anyone know he had pain or problems. 

He tried to fight this off, but the cancer won.  He decided to come home to his ranch and finish his days with hospice.  I started helping him with medications, meals and mobility.  He fought with all he had to keep his independence, even when we all knew he really wasn't safe.

A few days ago, he could no longer fight it and became bedridden.  I've spent the last several days as his primary caregiver, pretty much 24 hours a day.  It was hard.  And I am tired.  But I feel such a sense of peace and accomplishment because he got to stay home, I got to know him much more than I ever did before, and I was able to help him leave this world with peace and as much grace as possible.  

His passing was a relief.  No more pain.  No more struggle.  Great memories of his past life history as we all sat with him.  I would do it again, even though it was so difficult.  This is what makes life worthwhile. Not all the things.  Not any money.  Just REALLY getting to be an important part of someone's life and being able to make it better.

I know my picture isn't dog related.  But it expresses the hope I feel with each sunrise.  Hope of a new day and renewal.

I hope to get back on track soon, but may be a couple more days resting and refreshing.

Hope you are all having a great Sunday.

We're joining the Black and White blog hop hosted by Dachshund Nola and Sugar the Golden Retreiver.  


  1. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. How wonderful that you could be there for him and he got to be at his home that he loved.

  2. Hi De, that is such a beautiful picture. I am so sorry for the loss of your father-in-law. ~hugs~

  3. My thoughts are with you and your family. ((((hugs))) You did a beautiful thing!

  4. I'm sorry for your loss. gratifying on what you did. Sending you and your family prayers and hugs.

  5. It is never easy to say good-bye to the people that we love. To be able to do so without regret or things left unsaid is a gift to be treasured. I know how hard it is, but thank you for taking care of him and allowing him to pass as he wished. ♥ ♥

    1. Thank you. It was hard. But I'm so glad I was able. I won't have to regret a thing.

  6. Oh my. I am so truly sorry for your loss :(
    I am so glad he had you to take such amazing care of him in his last days, I can imagine how that must have been for you. Again, I am so so very sorry for your loss, and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

    1. Thank you. Sometimes we forget that death is part of life. I'm glad I was able to help him cross to that next place as gracefully as possible.

  7. Hugs to you :'( Very sorry about the loss of your father-in-law